…..the Tough dig their heels in deep and pray harder. And that is exactly where Roman and I find ourselves these days: praying a lot harder.
“I’m sad.” he lamented over the phone.
“Why are you sad?” I asked.
“I can’t find a job…..” he said quietly.
The past few days have been really hard. Roman had applied for a job for the government here with me, and this past Thursday he found out that he didn’t make it (too many veterans had applied and they get first dibs, so he wasn’t even considered).
It’s hard to watch your husband try so hard only to have his hopes dashed time and time again. He works a part-time job and it definitely helps, but he wants so bad to get into a full-time career. He wants to use the knowledge and tools he worked so hard to learn in college.
We joke about how we are becoming the King and Queen of “Waiting”: we waited for ten months in search of a home before we got married, then we waited for two years while we worked our butts off in college so we could finally have a break, and now we are waiting for him to get a full-time job so we can pay off all of the bills we acquired during our pursuit of those degrees. We joke about how we need to stop asking God for patience, but deep down I know it hurts him. I can see the stress it puts on him to apply endlessly for job after job with no result.
I know it’s only been two and a half months since we graduated, and perhaps I am complaining a little bit too soon. I know there are others who have gone months, years even, without work. And please don’t think that I am looking for your sympathy. But I am looking for your prayers…..and sometimes, it’s just nice to vent to the world….to get something off of your shoulders.
And now to change directions a bit…a letter to my dearest husband:
To: My loving Anchovy
From: Your loving Anchovy
I wanted to take this time to encourage you. I know your heart is heavy and you are growing weary in this job pursuit-thing. But there are a few things that I feel like I need to remind you of…..
You are enough.
You are the man of my dreams, and you will always be enough for me. Whether you wind up working as a garbage-truck man or whether you continue as a forensic scientist and crack a cold case with your extreme DNA-testing skills, you will always be enough for me. And more importantly, you are enough for God. He will give you the skills and the strength to accomplish what He has planned for you.
You make me proud.
I will always be so very proud of you. You have grown into such an awesome man of God. You lead me in the direction God wants me to go and you give me confidence in who I am. I have watched you labor until late at night on chemistry and other science stuff that I could never understand. You have so much knowledge and intelligence, and you are so talented. Watching you play the drums for the Lord makes my heart swell with pride. Watching you grow in Christ and as a husband makes me want to dance (but I won’t, because that would embarrass the heck out of you).
You are a great husband.
No really, you are. You have so much compassion for me on the days when I am tired or don’t feel good. You deal with me tenderly. You help me with the household chores whenever I ask for help without complaining. You work hard in everything you do. You have stayed faithful to me and to God. You make me laugh every day and bring so much joy to my life. Seriously, I could not have asked for a better husband in my wildest dreams.
So where do we go from here? I honestly have no clue what God has in store for us. I thought I did. I went through our entire college career with one plan in mind: we graduate college, you get a job at the GBI lab, I quit my job to become a mother, we have kids and live in a nice house with our dog. Perhaps this is still the game plan God has for us, but perhaps He has a completely different plan altogether.
But whatever the plan is, I’m with you babe. 100%. Rain or shine, job or no job, I will always love you and I will always be proud to be called your wife. We will keep praying, we will keep waiting, and through faith, God will provide in His perfect timing. And one day, we will look back on these days and laugh because God has blessed us so much.
I love you. I’ve loved you since the day I met you. And I will love you until the day I draw my very last breath. And then I will love you for eternity after that.
Stand tall. Know that the Lord has you in the palm of His hand. And know that your wife prays for you every day. He will work it all out if we just keep pressing in with faithful and trusting hearts.
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait”
John Waller: While I’m Waiting
“Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ For some time he refused, but finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!'” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”” ~Luke 18:1-8