The Worst Thing EVER

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, then you probably saw my status a couple of week ago. If you’re not friends with me on Facebook, then you probably should be here is what I posted:
“Just got bit by a weird spider whose bite stung like fire. Prayers that I do not die or lose a finger are greatly appreciated. My greatest fear has become a reality today. #iHATEspiders”
Because I know all of you are deeply concerned about this horrific incident and desire to know every detail, I decided to accept your over-sharing request and get you all the terrifying specifics.
What kind of spider was it?
No idea. But here’s a picture of it all smushed up:
I tried doing a quick Google search to see if it was a popular poison one, but no such luck. I did save it in a plastic bag though, so if my finger starts to rot off I can take it to the doctor and they’ll know what it is.
Speaking of which, how is my finger?
Good, so far. It stayed swollen for a good week and up until a few days ago you could see a red dot where it bit me. But now, you can barely see it and the swelling is gone. Still not throwing the smushed up spider away though…..not until it is 100% gone.
How did I get bit?
I was washing dishes and apparently the tiny demon was hiding on the bottom of a bowl. I was placing the bowl in the sink when it suddenly felt like my finger was getting burned off I got stung by a bee. I threw the bowl down, slammed my hand up against the side of the sink (in order to kill the suspected bee), yelled really loud, and then got Roman to get a piece of ice out of the freezer so I could squeeze it against my finger. It wasn’t until I finished whining about how bad it hurt that I realized it wasn’t a bee, but a spider. Actually, first I thought it was a bee, then we thought it was some sort of bug, then we realized that the dead bug in the sink had eight legs which meant it was a spider. Then I freaked out. Then I got some Benadryl cream and slathered it on there. Then I proceeded to complain for the next ten minutes until it finally stopped burning.
How much more do I hate spiders?
A lot. I’ve had two nightmares now where the spiders were following me around the house. Every room I walked in there was a spider on the wall. It was terrible. TERRIBLE, I tell you!
Have I washed any more dishes?
Absolutely not. I’m still too traumatized. I may claim emotional damage and never wash another dish again. Roman, I’m looking at you buddy. Jk, yes, I’ve washed dishes. Carefully. Very carefully.  
Have I turned into spider woman yet?
Not yet, but I’m remaining hopeful. I’m thinking about testing out my jumping skills pretty soon because I think by now the poison should be good and sunk in. Maybe try jumping off the couch? Off the bed? Off the kitchen counter? Off the porch?

“The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true, and righteous altogether.” ~Psalm 19:9

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