Rules of Parenthood

rules-of-parenthood

You ever heard of Murphy’s Law? You know, “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” Well the same holds true in parenting. I’ve learned that there are very concrete “rules” within parenthood. Here’s just a few:

If you have an appointment, the baby will have a blow out right before it’s time to leave.

If you need to get up early in the morning, the baby will not sleep the night before.

If you’re getting ready to leave the house, the baby will decide to take a nap. This leaves you with the crisis: to wake the baby or to not wake the baby? {Hint: don’t wake the baby.}

If you want the baby to take a nap in the car, he won’t.

If you want the baby to stay awake in the car, he won’t.

If you don’t want the baby to eat that thing on the floor he found, he will.

If you want the baby to eat his own food, he won’t.

If you put a white shirt on, the baby will throw up on it.

If you put a white shirt on, the baby will poop on it.

If you put a white shirt on…..well, just forget about the white shirt. Okay?

If you want your baby to smile/act friendly to a new person, he will mean-mug instead.

If you dress your baby in a nice outfit for church, he will throw up and/or poop on it. {Bonus points if it’s right as you’re buckling him into the car seat.}

If you want your baby to stay quiet, he will decide to test his yelling abilities.

If you want your baby to stay little forever, he most certainly will not.

 

We love our little rugrats, right? But I’m sure all of my parent-readers out there can agree with pretty much all of these laws of physics. Solidarity, you guys.

Any other fun “rules” you can come up? Share ’em in the comments!  :) 

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